Think for Yourself

Today I’m considering why so many people who don’t want to be told what to do ACUTALLY DO want to be told what to believe.

I know some of it’s cultural. The preacher/teacher/pastor/priest is supposed to be an expert in “belief.”

Some of it is emotional. Even the most confident people fight insecurity in the realm of faith and they’re afraid to get it wrong.

Some of it is environmental. People often grow up in homes where faith-talk happens only on Sunday mornings and only by the church’s authority figures.

Regardless of why it’s true, the idea that people want to be told what to believe bothers me. And I think it’s pretty unhealthy in the long run.

I would much rather lead people to think for themselves and search for Truth than to tell people what to believe. Why?

* No one is truly an expert. Not even the preacher/teacher. Certainly not me. We’ve all been shaped by our own experiences and atmospheres of faith. As hard as we try to be objective, we are sometimes wrong.

* My own life-changing moments came about as a result of searching the Scriptures on my own…not someone telling me what to believe.

* Loving God with our minds is just as important as loving Him with our hearts. Even thinking is an act of worship when we think on Truth.

* When I struggle with doubts in my own faith, I need a stronger foundation than “Well, that’s what the reverend said in that one sermon that one day.” I want my beliefs to be grounded in Scripture…and then prayer…and then experience…and then the words of someone else.

Listen, I know God speaks to us through other people. I pray He speaks through me daily. But I would much rather lead you to discover some things on your own than to give you a list of things to do to make God happy. One day I’ll be long gone and out of your life. But the Truth you discover will change you for eternity.

Love God with your heart, your soul, your mind, and your strength (Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30, Luke 10:27),

Chad

Defeated by My Own Strengths

Jephthah, although a lesser known figure in history, is the kind of guy our culture idolizes. He was an underdog who rose to prominence. Born out of an affair his dad had with a prostitute, he was run out of town by his self-righteous half-brothers and half-sisters. Homeless and penniless, he lived with a “group of adventurers” and became their leader (Judges 11:3).

During that time of his life, he developed his strengths. He was a natural born fighter. He was fearless. When he was in battle, he was in his sweet spot. As crude as it sounds, killing was what he did best.

Yet his strength brought about his own tragedy.

When his hometown was desperate for a hero and needed someone to come to its rescue, it turned to Jephthah. Jephthah returned with the promise that if he led them to victory, he would become leader of those who previously ran him out of town.

As confident as this fighting machine was in his strengths, he turned to God and begged for victory. In the heat of the moment, and in the midst of a desperate prayer, Jephthath promised to make a sacrifice to God if he won the battle. Not just any sacrifice. Jephthah would sacrifice whatever (or whoever) came out to greet him when he returned home (Judges 11:31).

After winning the battle, Jephthah returned home. Tragically, his daughter came out to greet him. What should have been an unparalleled legacy of military leadership, turned to a legacy of sorrow.

Here’s what this story teaches me: The thing that makes us great makes us dangerous.

Jephthah’s strength was his fighter spirit, his battle-ready mindset, and his win-at-all-costs attitude. Yet, his focus on defeating the enemy caused him to make an unnecessary vow and possibly cost him his only child.

Sometimes our greatest strengths can be out biggest weaknesses.

We are often most vulnerable at our point of strength.

Maybe your strength is your dynamic personality. Your outward beauty. Your strategic mind. Your brilliant ability to communicate. Your flawless pedigree. Your compassion. Your fighter spirit.

That strength also has the potential to bring about your downfall.

Most of us are fully aware of our weaknesses and limitations. We beg God to help us through those times. We know when we’re in over our head.

But with our strengths? Some of us are sleepwalking right into a snakepit.

* What are my strengths?

* How could those strengths become potential weaknesses?

* If I was the Enemy, how would I design an attack for me?

What about you?

Raising Aliens

I haven’t been a dad for long. Just 11 years. Yet as I watch my two kids grow, I’m realizing more and more how strange they are. Like alien-strange. They are simply not the cookie-cutter kids I was told that all kids have to become.

In my first years of parenting, I just waited to be cracked upside the head with a can of soup. Or to have to throw away a couch due to Sharpie-graffiti. Or to one day round the corner in the local supermarket and find one of my kids on his face on the floor screaming because I wouldn’t buy some one-dollar toy.

Now, even as I write this I sense some of you saying, “Just wait. Your time is coming.” And maybe it is. My point is not to say I’ve figured this thing out. It’s simply to say I think I have discovered what has been my saving grace in my first decade of parenting: Respect.

Growing up as a follower of Jesus, I heard a lot about how God desires children to respect, honor, and obey, their parents. But few people championed the idea that parents should respect their children. I realize a blog may not be the best forum to share this thought, so I’ll try to make it brief.

* We never put our kids on the spot in public.

If my child needs to make a decision about anything from school to spending the night with a friend, I always step aside and talk privately first.

* We never talk to someone else about our children in front of our children.

No comment needed

* We rarely take time away from our children

A date night every now and then. Maybe a weekend getaway. But babysitting is not the norm. Heck, it’s not even common with us. We’re a package deal. A team. You get one of us, you get us all.

* We never shout or slam doors while our children are in the room

I’m not necessarily advocating shouting and slamming the doors when the kids aren’t around. The point is my kids do not witness outbursts in the home.

* We don’t always rescue our children

Sometimes a kid needs to bandage his own boo boo.

* We celebrate our kids’ character over their achievements.

I’m all about scoring touchdowns, shooting hoops, and making A’s. But we choose to celebrate moments when our child offers forgiveness, demonstrates humility, exhibits real joy, etc…

* We don’t talk to our kids as if they're teletubbies.

If you offer to pamper your child, he will let you do it. Just don’t make that kind of treatment an option. You’re leading the kids to become adults!

* We don’t make empty promises.

If our kids were acting up and I threatened to make them leave the party, we left the party! If I threatened to send them to bed…they went to bed! If I threatened to take away a toy, I took it away.

* We communicate!

We know our kids’ favorite songs, best friends, favorite clothes, teachers’ names, etc… My best friend is an 8 year old boy and that’s just the way I want it.

After another decade passes, I’ll write about all the mistakes I made. And maybe I’ll eat my words. But for now I’m raising aliens…and that’s cool.

Ten Things Every Guy Needs to Hear At Least Once

10. You're Brave

9. I Couldn't Have Done It Without You

8. I'm glad you're here

7. You're a good friend

6. You've got the job

5. You were right. I was wrong

4. Sure. Eat all you want.

3. I want to be just like you

2. I'm proud of you

1. I believe in you

How Necessary is Jesus?

"If we could be perfect on our own, we wouldn't need Jesus." I can't tell you how many times I've heard well-meaning people say something like that. While I understand that the bottom line truth they were trying to communicate is that Jesus saves, that quote is just not true.

Without Jesus everything falls apart. We can't breathe. We have no beginning. The stars fall out of the sky. Heck, there is no sky, much less a star. There is nothing to be saved without Jesus.

I fear that we've painted a picture of Jesus that makes him out to be a super-hero that finds His meaning when we mess up. He doesn't need us to have meaning. He is meaning. He is purpose. He is.

I was just reminded the other day how much bigger Jesus is than we make Him out to be.

Jesus is not a response to our failure. We are a response to Jesus' love.

Top 10 Most-Listened-To Songs On Our Recent Vacation

Some of these are a little embarrassing. Some may need some explanation...but I'm not giving any. The four of us just had a blast singing along! Good times.

10. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something

9. Mmmm Bop - Hanson

8. When It's Over - Sugar Ray

7. In Your Honor - Foo Fighters

6. Bye Bye Bye - NSYNC

5. No Rain - Blind Melon

4. So What - P!nk

3. Mr. Roboto - Styx

2. Awake and Alive - Skillet

1. Monster - Skillet

Can't wait til next year.

Unplug

For the last 10 months, life for us has been like life is for all our friends: full. Five days a week, one or both of my kids have school and then some kind of ball practice. We get home at 7:00 or 7:30 and then get the homework done, eat a late meal, and put them to bed. Then my wife and I have about an hour to watch a television show, unwind, and go to sleep. Saturdays are game days. Sundays are, well, Sundays. With all the practicing, playing, studying, working, and meeting, it's easy to miss the small things. We're unplugging this week. The first evidence that this was needed break was hearing my son look at the vast ocean and say, "Man, it's amazing that God made all this. It's like He knew what we liked and made our favorite things for us."

So grateful for this moment.